mmmmeh

i’m feeling really terrible about everything right now

i have to finish gessoing a canvas and then i also have to finish an underpainting on that very canvas by like 11 tomorrow and i hate the technique that we have to use, it is stupid and boring and i don’t want to do it

and i also do not want to go outside today, at all, or talk to anybody irl, at all (i am feeling ambivalent about talking to anyone on the internet as well, but i can handle it)

i just want to lie in my bed and eat smartfood popcorn and play pokemon and think about ancestors kissing and think about princesses kissing and then think about how great a character nausicaa is 

and 

augh

i’m not even going to start talking about how unprepared i am at any time to deal with emotions and how right now i am fucking drowning in negative ones

just

kill

me